I miss you. My stream lined existence has escaped me. I wonder of you, I wonder at you. I don't know anything. To myself, Let me fall away please. Let me fade. How many personalities does a person like you have? That only one or a few are exposed at a time? From each and every rhizome you have planted; another ten or so, escaping you, and wandering around into the souls and thoughts of those around you. Have I only the few weeks of the only pleasant stem? From for it, death and a seething cry. I've never played your game before, and now I realize how real it is. In fact I was even just playing a game with you until I realized what I was starting to feel. It tore myself apart to know that I had to relieve myself of you. I never wanted to, oh for all I knew I was going to drop you when you became tiresome, or I became bothered. For once it didn't happen that way. For once I felt weak. Weak in your arms, do you know what you made me? Afraid. How could I feel that way? When I realized I had let my guard down it was too late!! I knew what you were all along, and I thought I could handle it. I suppose I thought it would be more fun to play with a bad boy. Well, in the end it never is. I beg of you, to stop being. But that in itself is a sadistic request. I would never wish of you your life in taking mine. But I beg it the same. I must leave myself, it is the only way.

Help me explain this, that I may. Whisper it to me softly, and I cave. He ought to have known, but he never would have taken it to heart. Now I sit here, a stare, cursing the wind. How it listens to me! Oh, never but at once. They say you've taken yourself, and to the paths you tread. How, they say these awful things.. That you may know of love, but never infatuation. How can we chose our instincts? Only a thought of risen bearing. Many a ways to believe this subscript. You never will. So elegantly, my soul has its way. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, quality is inversely related to amiability... As much as it doesn't make sense, and as much as people don't understand. Forcibly, the wearings take their greed of the standpoint. They don't know where they went wrong, but maybe they prefer the latter to be mistaken. Perhaps they enjoy others toddling them in their misery.

No one, not even for a second. But had they amassed I should be silent. Be it so, and my fever discourses this fare. To a surge, a sounding cry. Like a confession, this dark day's crime. Counted, thereof but a shrivel. Naught to a finding, for sore the shallows doubt. Goodbye my friend, much, lest forever doth proceed.

Must I play these games with myself? Lest they aid in my desolation, I need be informed. I laugh at this, I am where I said I would never be. I have none but an existence. Every turn I ache with bitterness. Another sapling, that he may be afflicted to my course. Another lie, that it may ring the heights this soul fetters. All of it. Escape me. He didn't know, but you, you knew. Oh, finally someone worthy; but why you have to code your disinterest intrigues me. A lifetime away and it wouldn't cease... But I may...

And that I may! A quick blow to the side, a weathered bliss of panic. Sieging the steeples of any religious offering... Time and time again.

Your presence is blinding, for only the wind you may confide. With the stillness you breathe, you have consumed yourself. You capacitate everything you are. Must I see nothing? Only to know this, that you have saved me from myself. I need not be so oblivious, but my senses leave me. I don't know much, how can I? But to purge thyself of any feeling, else let havoc take its course. Logic must refine itself to a grain, compacted and enclosed; not to wander into the abyss of disregard! You steadily seem unsure, emitting a fragrance never to touch upon a scent. I have to refer myself to the verse that relieves my insanity. I constantly wonder what would have happened if I got into his car, or his, or his...
But no. I wait here for something that will never happen.
Why? I need a reason to run to the desert....... I also need a reason to stay here.

I ask for peace, but I know of that to be a frailty. I am fallen, betwixt myself. The inseparable feeling plagues me. Am I never to know? That I may fix myself upon a willingness to... But a far sighted plea. I am afraid, for which I fear of. He, oh a similar notion to the thoughts that so desperately fold. They hold on to the wind, like a feather are they swayed. Dancing, the reason seems to disappear itself.

This used to be my escape, now it is my home.
They move me; their arrogance depicts their power. Forever a time will I cease to see this, ever. But willingly I wear their eyes, willingly I dissuade my own self, but I don't even notice it. Wouldn't you rather live in the beautiful land of what if... A desire once executed is never as great and perfect as the imagination once may have willed it to be. Something meant to happen will happen, forcing things that shouldn't happen is only good for amusement... Anything you can hold onto and know it will never amass to your expectations, is something you should prohibit from trying to reach your expectations. But what of love?
What if, underlying all the prospects and factors of a thought, resides someone? What if they stay there- provoking themselves, into an unabated chaos. The residue of this chaos, a heartbeat. How is one to know this feeling past their cat?