Oh how, say it, me again, and here. For the ever and away I spell you a finding. To ever, and you, but a stop to this. Never! I love you. Maybe. I can never make what my mind is of. Why try? I pull myself apart, on purpose. Perhaps an ending to this confusion. Perhaps a discovery in the midst of this. Happenstance! What is the end if never the hunt? I beg of thee, as I beg of me. Escape yourself, come into the relics of time and the osculations of such. With me. Of me. And now I must leave. Moonlit soul. I will treasure you as I treasure my own. Mysterious are we, but it to be the fun of existence. Like the ash thrown to the waves, and spread to a nonexistence. You stay, even if invisible. You will always float among the waters of my fragmented subsistence.  

We spend our whole lives trying to feel something. We also spend out whole lives avoiding feeling something. Whether we like it or not the meaning of our lives is abstract. This is something evolution cannot explain. Evolution doesn't know what art is. How can it? The purpose of evolution is to better the species. On the contrary, if one goes about his life in a successful mannerism and dies with billions to his name, he has lived a cold and bitter life. So many want this because they can see it. So many want this because they crave respect unhealthily, abnormally, and obsessively. Not many want what they cannot see. Not many want what they think not to be real. But this is what we need. It is what our nature is trying to tell us we need.

There is nothing quite like the feeling of rain on a summers day, or the smell of fallen leaves in the autumn. The sounds, the feels, the tastes, the expectations and doubts, everything that we know and love, everything that we hate and despise. All of it, working towards a burning inside. A knowing, a willing, a happenstance to peace. Everything of it, and more.

I miss you. My stream lined existence has escaped me. I wonder of you, I wonder at you. I don't know anything. To myself, Let me fall away please. Let me fade. How many personalities does a person like you have? That only one or a few are exposed at a time? From each and every rhizome you have planted; another ten or so, escaping you, and wandering around into the souls and thoughts of those around you. Have I only the few weeks of the only pleasant stem? From for it, death and a seething cry. I've never played your game before, and now I realize how real it is. In fact I was even just playing a game with you until I realized what I was starting to feel. It tore myself apart to know that I had to relieve myself of you. I never wanted to, oh for all I knew I was going to drop you when you became tiresome, or I became bothered. For once it didn't happen that way. For once I felt weak. Weak in your arms, do you know what you made me? Afraid. How could I feel that way? When I realized I had let my guard down it was too late!! I knew what you were all along, and I thought I could handle it. I suppose I thought it would be more fun to play with a bad boy. Well, in the end it never is. I beg of you, to stop being. But that in itself is a sadistic request. I would never wish of you your life in taking mine. But I beg it the same. I must leave myself, it is the only way.

Help me explain this, that I may. Whisper it to me softly, and I cave. He ought to have known, but he never would have taken it to heart. Now I sit here, a stare, cursing the wind. How it listens to me! Oh, never but at once. They say you've taken yourself, and to the paths you tread. How, they say these awful things.. That you may know of love, but never infatuation. How can we chose our instincts? Only a thought of risen bearing. Many a ways to believe this subscript. You never will. So elegantly, my soul has its way. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, quality is inversely related to amiability... As much as it doesn't make sense, and as much as people don't understand. Forcibly, the wearings take their greed of the standpoint. They don't know where they went wrong, but maybe they prefer the latter to be mistaken. Perhaps they enjoy others toddling them in their misery.

No one, not even for a second. But had they amassed I should be silent. Be it so, and my fever discourses this fare. To a surge, a sounding cry. Like a confession, this dark day's crime. Counted, thereof but a shrivel. Naught to a finding, for sore the shallows doubt. Goodbye my friend, much, lest forever doth proceed.

Must I play these games with myself? Lest they aid in my desolation, I need be informed. I laugh at this, I am where I said I would never be. I have none but an existence. Every turn I ache with bitterness. Another sapling, that he may be afflicted to my course. Another lie, that it may ring the heights this soul fetters. All of it. Escape me. He didn't know, but you, you knew. Oh, finally someone worthy; but why you have to code your disinterest intrigues me. A lifetime away and it wouldn't cease... But I may...

And that I may! A quick blow to the side, a weathered bliss of panic. Sieging the steeples of any religious offering... Time and time again.

Your presence is blinding, for only the wind you may confide. With the stillness you breathe, you have consumed yourself. You capacitate everything you are. Must I see nothing? Only to know this, that you have saved me from myself. I need not be so oblivious, but my senses leave me. I don't know much, how can I? But to purge thyself of any feeling, else let havoc take its course. Logic must refine itself to a grain, compacted and enclosed; not to wander into the abyss of disregard! You steadily seem unsure, emitting a fragrance never to touch upon a scent. I have to refer myself to the verse that relieves my insanity. I constantly wonder what would have happened if I got into his car, or his, or his...
But no. I wait here for something that will never happen.
Why? I need a reason to run to the desert....... I also need a reason to stay here.