I'm like a cat... I'm playing with my food but I don't anticipate eating it... Like a cat with a mouse; having fun with it, but after realizing it's dead, ignoring it. I try to justify my choices, convincing myself that he is perfect. Actually most of the time I do see them as perfect, but not perfect for me, perfect for someone else. I see them for who they are, and I realize that the girl they should be with is not me, but regardless I continue to lead them on, just for the thrill of the ride. This is bad on my part, and I see it as foolish. But it's an addiction. I've used my skills and endowments to lure unsuspecting victims into my traps. When I set them free they are heart broken and teary eyed. I must be a sick, twisted animal. An addiction has grown inside of me and I need to let go of it. Sometimes I feel like I can't finish anything, ever. I always want something new, something better. I get bored easily and I'm constantly on the lookout for bigger and better. Schools, jobs, boyfriends, clothes, shoes, sports teams. EVERYTHING. Even churches. I just feel so guilty. I can never keep anything, and I try so hard to convince myself to hold on to security, but I wont allow myself to take part in reason. I wont allow myself to make sense.