Today I feel trapped. Writing is really the only escape I have. The escape that I cannot access due to a societal understanding, that inhibits me from externalizing my mind into a vapor that can escape me. I need to feel escaped, but alas I cannot. Sometimes misfortune follows me around, and like a plague it takes me and all of those around me down. It can be hard to escape and once you realize the cause of the misfortune is you, it's even harder to escape. Again, I feel as though I am trapped, and anything I say can and will be used against me; Here, in my private journals, in my dream journals, facebook, and everywhere else. It's like I'm being followed and I really just need to cut of my resources expending... That said, don't continue reading if you plan on judging me. I just don't understand how some people just function is society so naturally, like the way it should be. It takes so much work on my part to overcome my mindset that I actually like to socialize, that I actually like other people. Some people dream of being in love. I don't understand why, it's nothing special. I fought with this for so long but... Nevermind. I can't say it on here. Someone might be *gasp* reading this. I doubt it though... Highly. Nevertheless I can't say what's on my mind, it's too risky.