I ask for peace, but I know of that to be a frailty. I am fallen, betwixt myself. The inseparable feeling plagues me. Am I never to know? That I may fix myself upon a willingness to... But a far sighted plea. I am afraid, for which I fear of. He, oh a similar notion to the thoughts that so desperately fold. They hold on to the wind, like a feather are they swayed. Dancing, the reason seems to disappear itself.

This used to be my escape, now it is my home.
They move me; their arrogance depicts their power. Forever a time will I cease to see this, ever. But willingly I wear their eyes, willingly I dissuade my own self, but I don't even notice it. Wouldn't you rather live in the beautiful land of what if... A desire once executed is never as great and perfect as the imagination once may have willed it to be. Something meant to happen will happen, forcing things that shouldn't happen is only good for amusement... Anything you can hold onto and know it will never amass to your expectations, is something you should prohibit from trying to reach your expectations. But what of love?
What if, underlying all the prospects and factors of a thought, resides someone? What if they stay there- provoking themselves, into an unabated chaos. The residue of this chaos, a heartbeat. How is one to know this feeling past their cat?

As Vidha realised the situation she sucked up all the disolved oxygen her gills could possibly hold and thrust herself into the melody. Aitahei and Hihmele were already engaged in lahvehlte but Vidha didn't care, she took her necklace and stamped it into Aitahei's heart and began the recourse. Hihmele hissed as she drew her kaoimle and drew the spell of darkness, lavehcti. "aee bhee luh nuhculisaa!" she belted at the tip of her head voice. Dark fog surrounded the palace in and through the corridors. "Aitahei, it's me" Vidha gently touched her love and a green light surrounded them. He suddenly woke up out of his trance and felt the pressing darkness of Hihmele, "You, you decieved me, wretched lilthmeki!" he yawned, and fell into a deep sleep. "Too late" Hihmele pounded evilly and smiled her stench smile.

The seconds turned to hours and the melded with the days. A darkness impeded Vidha's thoughts and dreams. She couldn't sleep without feeling the wretched horror that haunted her every disposition. Allelithethe was gone and Vidha had no realization of what was going on in her life but just went into a deep sleep inside of her soul and put her body on auto-pilot. She couldn't feel, she didn't want to. The only thing she longed for was sadness because that was the only thing that could touch her. The trance she put herself in was just the beginning of the weeks to come of numb living. She would wake up in the morning out of her bed, and hold her breath until she felt suffocated sometimes, then gave up and fell back on the elegantly decorated clam-shell. The waves in her hair even felt sorry for her as they resided on the sides of her face in ragged, thin scraps of lifeless dead skin cells.

Some people don't believe in the power of psychology, that's only because they have never experienced its worth. Imagination can stay in its mental, dormant state, but to some people, it's alive and physical. Is it just the mind that can home a thought, a feeling, a desire, or can they be provoked physically out of thin air? Psychologically, anything is possible. This is what makes people go insane, this is also what makes people define sanity. The mind has no limits, but only if you let it. I have this theory(because I'm lazy) that everyone gets the same out of life. Everyone experiences all of the good, and bad, that everyone else experiences. Everyone has limits they can handle, and each of those thresholds is met with every existence. If one is born into an environment with certain expectations, they will either fail up to this environments limit, or succeed up to this environments limit. Everything around you are the factors that determine you. There is no such thing as luck, and everything is already predetermined, from the moment you took your first breath. This, of course invokes laziness on my part, and sort of defeats any kind of progressive thought or action.

I can take everything away and I am still left over with more than I had started with. Too many nights, too many sleepless nights. I concentrate on anything, and it defiles me. I disgrace my presence, always, and I hope to bear a thought of simplicity. That must never reach me. I will never be. I have come to this place out of daze. I wander around my stumbling turns, and I fade aloof, I am pushed into these vices. The fright, the clawing, jiving, teething, piercing file. Vie to the east of the west, a fault in times threshold. Taken upon me, my jaded being, and with the fire, the echoing shadows amidst the burning, and they scream into the depths. A day has passed, what of it?
I just... Don't understand, and I don't think I want to.

The only person worth staying for disregards my presence, mentally, physically, and anonymously. So I must leave this place, and take with me only my lost memories of a time before. I have ended myself at the base of this reality, now I search a light far beyond my knowledge. I should have known, anonymity will only chastise our realities. I can never get that back. Forgive me, for my mind and words have the tendency to overpower my physical presence. My mental state reprimands me, my body, and forsakes any inch of forthcoming. My spirit is dark, dark enough to see. And my soul, oh my soul, it aches with a beating, it drowns. A fire so untrusted, a passion mounting the blood in my veins. You must carry yourself away, and when I leave, seek retribution. To you, the other, please don't show your face, or at least gouge my eyes out. I don't trust myself, and I never will, but I trust you when you acknowledge your intellect to be the inverse of your aesthetics. Leave me, leave me in wonder. After all, a lifetime of a voice that loves you is better than a lifetime of a picture that hates you.